today is one of those days when i question my choice to stay home...i think the only thing the kids are learning from me today is how to lose your cool or how to yell...granted, their behavior has been AWFUL!!!! but i haven't reacted like i should--unfortunately i am human so their behavior is really getting to me. this all started last night when lily wouldn't go to bed for our babysitter. we got home at 9:30 and she was still up--so was ty, although he was in his crib with the light off. i went in to check on him because lily had intentionally scratched him by his eye earlier and i wanted to look at it. we put him back to bed but we had already opened pandora's box. thus began the whines, cries, and screams for us to cover him up, pull his duck toy that makes music, for us to sing, and then repeat all those in any combination. this lasted well until 11:00, but was interupted by james at 10:30 screaming. i nursed him and put him back down and i think by 11:30 all our children were asleep--mind you they normally go to bed at 7. ty woke up this morning screaming at 5-something and we let him go until about 6:30. I finally went in there and told him it wasn't time to get up yet--more screaming. i threatened spanking...more screaming...i didn't want him to wake the babies so i told him he could lay in our bed and watch cartoons...more screaming...i asked him if he wanted to stay in his crib...more screaming. i very sternly explained his options to him and he chose to lay back down. i returned to bed and shortly thereafter james was awake. todd and i fed the babies and lily and ty and ty's rotten behavior just continued and escalated. i must have put him into timeout 5 times this morning, sometimes sitting outside our front door because he was screaming so much. and lily was awful too!! i mean awful--like we had turned back the clock a year! i don't know what person in their right mind can deal with this sort of thing all day long, plus take care of two other babies, and do laundry and dishes and clean the house, all without losing their sanity or hurting themselves or others. i'm losing my mind. even when things get quiet again i am still so fired up from all the manure that i've waded through all morning that i can't even appreciate it. i can't wait for school to start and i can't wait for sonia to get back (after reading this you may not want to return, sonia... :)) and i guess i can't make up my mind how i feel philisophically about spanking--i don't want to spank, but NOTHING else seems to work. mind you, i did not spank anyone today, but i'm thinking maybe i should have since all this nonsense continues...i know that parenting is hard--ask any parent and they'll tell you that. but i guess i never realized that my particular two older children would be so difficult in conjunction with the constant physical needs of my twins. i know that like four years down the road things will be great--but i have to make it through this day right here and it's a minute to minute struggle right now...
on a positive and exciting note--isabella rolled from her back to her tummy this morning!! i almost forgot with all the other garbage i was dealing with! yeah for her!!!!!
